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But I recently started having semi-regular Skype sex, and realized that I hadn't felt this sexually inept since I was a terrified teenager.
I've had a wealth of sexual experience, and learned many wonderful and terrible things from many wonderful and terrible people.
Sexy sultry voices with personalities to drive your libido over the edge.
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(Granted, if you're really a criminal mastermind, you could crop it out, but let's call it a deterrent.) Mostly, don't be a dick. You can always opt out of including your face in the frame.
That way, if anybody else sees it, you can deny it, because it's just a bunch of faceless body parts floating around on a screen. It's widely held that men are visually stimulated and women don't know how to use their eyeballs except to look at shoes and children and housework.
I'm seeing a person who a) is a photographer and b) lives in a different country and c) is far more visual than me. I'm now relearning intimacy through a whole new medium. It's not like being right there with someone, but it also doesn't let your imagination run wild like phone sex or sending dirty emails; it's some whole new thing, with its own drawbacks and its own distinct pleasures. Skype sex is like watching porn that stars a person who (hopefully) you know for real, who's aware that you're watching them.
I'm still figuring it all out, but here are a few tips I've learned from my foray into this brave new world of e-humping. It's like porn you direct and co-star in, which is both exciting and nerve-wracking.
Even though you might be thinking, "My God, those are the greatest pectoral muscles in the history of pectoral muscles," there's no way for your partner to know that unless you spit it out. Personally, I couldn't care less if there are naked pictures of me on the internet, since there already naked pictures of me on the internet. Skype and most other video chat services include a little picture of you nested in the big picture of the person you're chatting with. The person you're all twitterpated over could turn out to be a jerk.
That's nice, because it means that if you try to screengrab their bits, you're going to get your bits all up in the photo, too. If it really makes you uncomfortable (remember: dies on the internet. If you're cool with that risk, know that you're in charge of what your partner sees.
We also have posts that will teach you how to transition the heat from your chat session into your video session. Keep traveling down the rabbit hole of Growly (like this one) and browse a little bit further and you will also find original ideas and resources for finding sexy cam partners – of every variety – and we even have a few ideas for naughty games you can play in the virtual realm or toys that you can use to play with yourself or watch your partner play.